Review of “The Killer’s Game”: Dave Bautista’s hitman action comedy

As a general rule, assassins should avoid doctors. At least in the movies, this never leads to anything good. For example, Michael Keaton’s title character recently received a devastating dementia diagnosis in Knox leavesHe just manages to get his affairs in order and acquit his son of the murder charge before he loses his mind.

Joe Flood (Dave Bautista), the main character in The murderer’s gameSuffering from debilitating headaches and double vision while completing deadly contracts, Joe dutifully undergoes a series of medical tests. He learns that he has an incurable disease that will rapidly destroy his abilities and lead to death within three months. So, naturally, Joe does what any self-respecting assassin would do, especially one who has just fallen in love. He orders himself killed and pays a $2 million bounty so that he can leave the world with dignity and leave a nice nest egg for his beautiful fiancée, the ballerina Maize (Sofia Boutella).

Not long after, Joe receives a series of panicked text messages from his doctor telling him that the lab mixed up his test results with someone else’s and that he’s fine (isn’t it annoying when that sort of thing happens?). The only problem is that every assassin in Europe is now after him.

That’s the contrived premise of JJ Perry’s action comedy, which even manages to mix some romance into its highbrow mix. The film’s success is largely down to the unique charm of its muscular lead actor and the well-staged, extremely brutal fight sequences that contain enough blood to test the limits of an R rating.

Adapting a book by Jay R. Bonansinga, screenwriters Rand Ravich and James Coyne try hard to create a quirky black humor that only sporadically succeeds. They receive their orders from the mysterious Antoinette (the always excellent Pom Klementieff from the Guardians of the Galaxy series) who is only too happy to take Joe’s money because she harbors a grudge against him, the killers are a comically exotic bunch. They include a French hitman who weaves flamenco dance steps into his murders, a lethal pair of Scottish brothers whose incomprehensible dialogue has to be subtitled, and a physically imposing professional (Terry Crews) who is annoyingly burdened with an inept assistant.

Much of the comedy comes from Joe’s loving relationship with his handler, Zvi Rabinowitz (a very funny Ben Kingsley, who clearly relishes the opportunity to reveal one of his many accents), and Zvi’s effusive wife (Alex Kingston), who treats Joe like the son they never had. Their barbed banter could just as easily take place on a bench in Boca Raton, with Zvi frequently spouting an aphorism about leaving your profession: “You either walk out clean, or you walk out on your back.”

The film benefits greatly from its beautiful European locations, particularly Budapest, whose opera house is the backdrop for the lavish opening scene. And the love story works incredibly well: Bautista looks like a lovestruck Shrek as he takes the lithe Boutella in his arms, flashing the wide smile that makes him look more endearing than menacing. The actor’s decidedly unconventional screen presence and, of course, his impressive physicality make him perfectly cast in the role.

Nonetheless, The murderer’s game has a tired air of familiarity that makes it unappealing long before it’s over. It’s the kind of movie where you’re practically counting the minutes until a character utters the words, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”