How single mothers in Mississippi manage: “Sometimes I don’t eat so my children will eat”

Mississippi was one of 15 states that denied federal food assistance to poor families. Hear firsthand how one mother struggles to feed her children when they’re out of school over the summer.

Front and center is a groundbreaking MS. series that began with first-person narratives of black mothers in Jackson, Mississippi, who received a guaranteed income. In the fourth year and next phase of this series, the aim is to broaden our focus beyond a single policy intervention and a more comprehensive examination of systemic issues affecting black women living in povertyThis means we need to look more closely at the interconnected challenges they face – including addressing the existing safety net, healthcare, child and elder care, and the importance of mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.

My name is Brianné, I’m 31 and I raise my four children alone. As a single mother of four, things are particularly tough financially right now, with inflation being a major challenge.

I have worked as a cook’s assistant and cleaner in a restaurant, but now that the school year is starting, I will be working in the middle school cafeteria where I make $10.50 an hour. I have always worked in a kitchen or in child care. I cook with love; I make sure I use good spices. These kids want to taste their food – it should be good! I love pretending I’m on a cooking show; that would be such a dream. It may not happen, but one day I would really like to run a food truck. I love food because it brings people together, it’s a need, but it’s also a joy.

Right now, I live in a subsidized apartment complex and also get food stamps (short for Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP). But even with that support and work, it’s just not enough to really live on one income. When you’re a parent and you’re trying to put together these meals and watch your budget, it’s really difficult.

I get food stamps for a month, and I’m grateful for that, but most grocery stores in my area aren’t as cheap as Kroger or Walmart. The stores near me are part of this chain that advertises that they’ll sell you products at cost, but then they add 10 percent to the retail price. So when you go shopping, you think it’s going to be one price, but then you get to the checkout and you’re like, “What did I buy?” You have food for two or three meals, and you don’t even think about snacks and water. (Editor’s note: Jackson has experienced a water crisis due to outdated infrastructure for years. Although officials say it is now safe to drink, many residents are still cautious about consuming it.)

And just for these few meals it’s already $100. That’s hard, that’s stressful.

Sometimes I don’t eat so they’ll eat. As a parent, sometimes you have to make decisions like that. … I wish it wasn’t so hard and that I wouldn’t be looked down on in moments like this when I really need help.

You get the food stamps once a month – I get mine on the 18th. And when the last few weeks come before the next round and you’re running low, you forget what you want to eat. It’s just a matter of putting together a few meals with what little money you have left.

I’m thankful that I recently got a 25 percent increase in my food stamps. But it’s still pretty tough, I’m not going to lie. I have an 11-year-old, a 9-year-old, a 7-year-old, and a 3-year-old. I have to feed them all summer when they’re out of school; that’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s a lot. It’s a lot. And while that’s going on, food prices are going up, it seems like the food in the packages is getting smaller.

That’s why I’m extremely grateful for the help I received from Springboard to cover these costs this summer. (Editor’s note: Mississippi is one of 15 states that logged out of federal funds to help low-income families buy food while their children are home during the summer months, so Springboard to Opportunities offered families a cash payment to cover these increased costs.)

When food budgets are tight, I make something I learned from my grandmother: she used to call them – oh God, I hate to say it – “bum meals”. You take a pack of mince, chop up an onion and add it to some rice. It’s filling, but not necessarily healthy. At least it fills my children. And they know that when money is tight, they have to make do with things they don’t like. They hate porridge, but I now sprinkle a little sugar on it for breakfast so I can give them something to eat on those mornings when I might not have sausage or fruit for them.

I want to feed them healthier food, but healthier things are more expensive. Sometimes I don’t eat anything so they’ll eat. As a parent, sometimes you have to make those decisions. But this summer, with the help of Springboard, there weren’t as many “hobo meals.” There was more fruit, which my kids love.

Some social welfare office employees act as if the money came out of their own pockets.

My goal is to one day not have to rely on the government at all, but that’s my reality right now. With SNAP benefits and other assistance, the government always wants to put work requirements on them. They say, “You have to work to get this” — but then the thing is, if you work, you can’t take advantage of these other services that you need, like free food banks that are only open during regular work hours. Then if you work a certain number of hours or make even a little bit more money, they cut your benefits. And it’s just impossible to move forward because they cut my assistance, but I still have to pay a bill or come up with money for something my kids need.

So I need the help, but I wish it wasn’t so hard and I didn’t feel condescending in moments like this when I really need the help. Some of these people in the social services act like the money comes out of their own pockets. They are so mean when they talk to you. It’s awful.

So right now I’m doing what I need to do to feed my kids, but my ultimate goal is to not need these benefits for anything and maybe one day organize single moms who are in need. I’m not the first single mom and I won’t be the last. I could help them without demeaning them or treating them meanly because I know what it’s like.

Here’s how I would design programs for single mothers: First, find out what she wants to do for a career. If she wants to go to school, OK? Give her the resources to get her into school and financially set her up for a career. Or help her get a job if school isn’t what she’s after. And find resources to get her kids into school or arrange for after school or other child care. My program would be designed for success all around.

Right now, I’m happy with my kids. As hard as it is to be a single parent, the fact that I get to raise someone who is better than me is a gift. They’ve seen what I’ve been through and that I’m trying to make it better for all of us. This current reality doesn’t have to be their story forever.

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