Hayden Panettiere shares how she found healing after her brother’s death

Almost two years after the death of her late brother Jansen Panettiere, Hayden Panettiere speaks about him.

The actress, who stars in the upcoming film “Amber Alert,” said that when her brother died suddenly in 2023 from cardiomegaly (enlarged heart) combined with aortic valve complications, she felt like she had “lost half of her soul.”

“He was my only sibling and it was my job to protect him,” she said in an interview with People as the magazine’s new cover star.

“It will always break my heart,” she added. “I will never get over it. No matter how many years pass, I will never get over his loss.”

How grief affected her health

Panettiere said her body physically reacted to her brother’s death.

“I’m just bloated,” she said.

“I didn’t dare get dressed and leave the house,” she added.

The actress said she gained 40 pounds (18 kg) in the days following Jansen’s death due to stress and high cortisol levels in her body.

“I had to look at horrific paparazzi photos of myself coming out of Jansen’s funeral, which was in a very private place, and it was shocking,” she said. “My agoraphobia came to the fore, which I’ve struggled with in the past.”

Looking back, Panettiere said she believes her body was “protecting itself and shielding itself from the world” at the time.

How she found healing through wellness and exercise

Last year, Panettiere’s publicist introduced her to personal trainer and CEO of M/BODY, a barre experience, Marnie Alton, who not only helped the actress get fit but also became someone she could open up to and trust.

“She gave me strength,” Panettiere said, explaining that Alton’s training approach is not like a boot camp.

Panettiere said Alton’s help got her into the gym and that the two would also go on “long, nice walks where we can blow off steam. And that would be that therapy session.”

Their friendship blossomed and Panettiere said Alton became her life coach.

“My body just started responding, not just from the workouts,” Panettiere said of the positive effects the lifestyle changes had on her. “I was able to release the stress and the high expectations I had always placed on myself.”

“There’s nothing better than looking in the mirror and feeling like you look good enough to walk out the door,” she added.

Since working with Panettiere, Alton has spoken about how proud she is of the actress.

“She was just so brave,” she said. “She wanted a big change in her life, and to do that you have to be really honest about where you are.”

How Panettiere is progressing

Now, nearly two years after her brother’s death, Panettiere said she’s “starting to feel like myself again.”

The actress said she is “content” and is focusing on the things that matter most to her, including her daughter Kaya, whom she has with her ex Wladimir Klitschko.

“She does so many things,” Panettiere said of Kaya. “She plays golf, she plays chess. She’s been dancing since she was a little girl and she loves to sing.”

Panettiere said she is also working on her autobiography, which will show “the real me from my perspective.”

And although she misses Jansen, Panettiere said he will “always be by my side.”