HOME | OPINION: Discoveries on the way to an organized home – Part 2

Many people talk about decluttering and organizing their homes. Few actually do it. Those who do have usually reached a turning point.

Two weeks ago, I recounted in this column how Maureen Rabazinski, a 62-year-old nurse, had emailed me seeking advice on how to get her house back. The 2,200-square-foot “private oasis” she and her husband moved into as empty nesters when they downsized to a smaller home eight years ago was neither private nor an oasis. Life had sent their two sons, who were about 30, back to live with them temporarily. One brought a wife and three children. Meanwhile, Covid forced Maureen, who had been working in a hospital clinic, to work from home, which led to her starting a thriving telemedicine practice from her home.

“My house was a mess,” she said. “I couldn’t find a corner where I wanted to be.”

The turning point came when her younger son moved out and she had the chance to reclaim the guest room for real guests. That prompted her to look around the rest of her four-bedroom house. The grandchildren had taken over another room, which was littered with toys. A crib had ended up in her office. And an unused elliptical machine was destroying the restful atmosphere in her master bedroom. That’s when she screamed, “Help!”

My advice was simple: set boundaries and give each room a purpose. We made a to-do list, which is easier said than done. I asked her to check back in two weeks. (The magic of accountability.)

Two weeks later, a period she described as a “whirlwind workfest,” she called to report on her progress (90% done) and the unexpected benefits. “Aside from loving how my decluttered, reorganized home looks, feels and functions,” she said, “my other discoveries have been even more impactful.”

She realized the following:

◼️ The direct donation effect. When we spoke, Maureen had a garage full of items being picked up and ready to move to new homes. For example, after trying to sell the barely used elliptical machine online, this bedroom behemoth is now going to the local Boys and Girls Club. The organization will pick it up, sell it, and use the money to help those in their care. Toys (enough to fill two trunks) are going to a homeless shelter, and three bags of bedding are for a local animal rescue nonprofit.

◼️ Targeted repurposing. While Maureen was remodeling her office, her older son was in the process of replacing dark wood floors with lighter ones. She took his old wood floorboards and had them installed in her home office, where they replaced worn carpet. While cleaning out the room her son had been living in, she found two televisions and gave them to the workers who were installing her flooring. “The smiles on their faces made all the effort worth it.” Oh, and the crib that took up half of her office went to a friend who had just become a grandmother. “While it’s gratifying to make a random donation, it’s even more rewarding to give things directly to someone who really needs and wants them,” she said.

◼️ Instructive moment. Maureen asked her grandchildren, ages 7, 4 and 2, to help her decide which toys could go to children in a homeless shelter and which should stay there. “The older two said, ‘We’re not playing with that anymore. Let’s give it to them.’ They learned how good it feels to be generous. They also found that they preferred playing with Gigi and PapPap over their toys.”

◼️ Biggest difference. “The change in my home office has been the most dramatic,” she said. In addition to losing the crib and getting wood floors, she also put a bookcase in the closet and placed a chic rug and two cowhide chairs opposite her desk to create a stylish seating area. “I’ve been really surprised at how much more energized and productive I feel now, as I look forward to going to my office every day.”

◼️ Biggest lesson. “Stopping the spillover was the hardest habit to break. I didn’t realize how much stuff that belonged in one room had spilled over into another.” Now that each room has a purpose, she won’t go back, she stresses. “My job is to maintain the boundaries and stop the spillover so I can maintain the new order and simplicity. When one toy comes in, another goes out.”

◼️ Greatest insight. “I can still have a house for the grandchildren, but the toys can only be taken out when they come to visit. When they move out, we can put the kids’ things away and our home can look like a grown-up home again.”

◼️ Advice for others. “If the project seems overwhelming, as it did for me, break the work down into smaller pieces,” she said. “Once I started, I couldn’t stop. Seeing the progress motivated me to keep going.”

Marni Jameson is the author of seven books, including Rightsize Today to Create Your Best Life Tomorrow. You can reach her at (email protected).