Notes on Chocolate: a seven-inch chocolate single | Food

TThis is a story about listening to your inner voice. Don’t worry, this column isn’t life coaching. But it’s all relevant. I got chocolate this week in the form of a record, a 7-inch vinyl single. “I think you can play it,” I said cheerfully. “No, you can’t,” said someone who will remain nameless and considers himself a lover. “Oh,” I said, feeling profoundly stupid, like I’d watched too much. Willy Wonka“You can’t play a chocolate record,” they added, “because that would ruin the needle.”

Dejected, I grabbed this thick slice of chocolate with 70% cocoa content and ate it. The Chocolate Maker (from the Bean to the Music) Nadalinacomes from Split in Croatia, and the man behind it and on the record is Marinko Biškić, a former singer of a punk band.

What a silly trick, I thought. But the thought that I might have been right (why else would you make a record out of chocolate?) nagged at me until I contacted the UK importers and said, “Isn’t it a bit misleading to sell a chocolate record if you can’t play it?” “But you can!” they replied, and sent me a video of it. You have to set the needle to 1g and the anti-scale to neutral, and of course if the chocolate has melted in any way, you won’t be able to play it. You can apparently play it up to five times and then eat it, label and all. I wish I could criticise the music too, but as discussed, I can’t.

So the moral of this story is: trust yourself and be curious. It’s an expensive way to eat chocolate (it costs £24 at cocoarunners.com) but a) the chocolate is really good and b) what a great gift for someone.

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