Parents who use humor have a better relationship with their children

Laughter is often called the best medicine, but according to a new study led by researchers at Pennsylvania State University, it may also be an effective tool for raising children.

In a pilot study, the research team found that many people view humor as a valuable parenting tool. They found that the use of humor by parents or caregivers significantly impacts the quality of their relationships with their children.

Humor gives life a positive twist

Most participants who experienced humor from their parents rated their relationships and parenting positively.

“Despite the widespread use of humor in social interactions and the extensive literature on humor in many research areas, very little has been formally studied on the use of humor in child-rearing. The purpose of this pilot study was to collect preliminary data on the use of humor in child-rearing,” the authors wrote.

“Humor can teach people cognitive flexibility, reduce stress, and promote creative problem solving and resilience,” notes Benjamin Levi, professor of pediatrics and humanities at Penn State College of Medicine and lead author of the study.

“My father used humor, and it was very effective. I use humor in my clinical practice and with my own children. The question now was: How can you use humor constructively?”

Parallels between business and parenthood

The study’s lead author, Lucy Emery, was a medical student at Penn State College of Medicine during the research and is currently a pediatric resident at Boston Children’s Hospital.

According to Emery, there is an interesting parallel between business and parenting, both of which are characterized by hierarchy. “In the business world, humor has been shown to help break down hierarchies, create a better environment for collaboration and creativity, and reduce tension.”

Emery noted that while parent-child relationships are more loving than business relationships, stressful situations are common in parenting. “Humor can help reduce that tension and hierarchy, making both parties feel better in a stressful situation.”

Humor and the joy of parenthood

The aim of this preliminary study was to find out how people perceive the connection between humor, their experiences as parents, and their experiences as parents.

The aim of the study is to lay the foundation for understanding how humor can be used constructively in education and to identify situations in which humor might be riskier.

The researchers surveyed 312 people between the ages of 18 and 45. More than half said they were raised by caregivers who used humor, and 71.8% agreed that humor can be an effective parenting tool.

The majority also said that they use or plan to use humor with their children and believe that doing so has more potential benefits than harms.

Humor and parent-child relationships

The study also found a link between parents’ use of humor and the way their now-adult children view their parenting and their relationship with their parents.

50.5% of respondents who reported that their parents used humor said they had a good relationship with their parents, and 44.2% felt their parents raised them well.

Conversely, of those whose parents did not use humor, only 2.9 percent said they had a good relationship with their parents and only 3.6 percent thought their parents did a good job.

Although one might expect parents to be humorous toward their children when they are raised by caregivers who also do so, Levi was surprised by the stark differences between the two groups.

Future research directions

The research team is now expanding this initial study by surveying a larger and more diverse group of parents and collecting qualitative data on parents’ experiences with the use of humor.

“I hope that people will learn to use humor as an effective parenting tool, not only to relieve tension, but also to develop their own resilience and cognitive and emotional flexibility and model that aspect for their children,” Levi said.

The study authors noted that if these findings are generalizable, they may open the door to much deeper and more comprehensive research into how “parenting humor” works and how it can be appropriately used to enrich the experiences of children and their parents.

“To this end, future research should examine how parents currently use different types of humor, what experiences children have had with this humor, and how this use of humor fits with existing knowledge and theory about how humor works.”

The study was published in the journal PLoS ONE.

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