The First, First Gentleman: Breaking More Than a Glass Ceiling

Doug Emhoff as potential First First Gentleman could spark a wider discussion about how much “women’s work” is taken for granted – not just at home but in society as a whole.

Founded in 2009, the Global First Ladies Alliance is essentially a support network of the spouses of heads of state from around the world. The “School for First Ladies” is also open to men, but no first gentlemen have ever attended it. Each year it coincides with the United Nations General Assembly in New York, where these spouses come together to share experiences and strategies for navigating their unique roles. And what role is that? Well, you could say it’s an extension of what society has long assigned to women: homemaking, but on a global scale. But now it includes managing everything from the (white) household to charity — without the benefit of an official title or paycheck.

While people may be preoccupied with the possibility of the US electing its first female president, I’m curious about what it might mean to finally have a first gentleman. Just contemplating such a symbol in the White House can help finally shine a light on the undervalued, unpaid work traditionally done by first ladies and, by extension, the invisible work that many women do across America. Could this spark a broader discussion about how much “women’s work” is taken for granted – not just at home, but in society at large?

It’s time for us to imagine what that change might look like.

What would a First Gentleman mean for gender roles in America?

Excitement over the possibility of a female president is understandably at the center of many feminist discussions today, but the introduction of a first gentleman could be just as groundbreaking as it challenges gender norms. For too long, we’ve seen first ladies perform a long list of duties that reflect what society traditionally expects of women: being the emotional backbone, the manager of the household, and keeping up appearances—both literally and symbolically .

These roles involve a lot of invisible work. Although they have an unofficial title, first ladies are unofficially tasked with hosting state dinners, supporting social and philanthropic causes, and maintaining the image of the White House without ever being paid or recognized for it, as they should be. It’s a microcosm of the way our society still places these expectations on women in the domestic sphere. Although this work is essential, it is often taken for granted.

Now imagine a man taking on this role. If a First Gentleman were to take on these roles, it could force the country to reconsider why these roles were so feminised in the first place. What’s more, it might make people wonder why this kind of work — whether it’s done in the White House or in everyday life at home — has been undervalued for so long.

For too long, we’ve seen first ladies perform a long list of duties that reflect what society traditionally expects of women: being the emotional backbone, the household manager, and the keeper of appearances.

Unpaid work: The elephant in the room

The idea that unpaid work is somehow “lesser” is one of the biggest problems women face, both at home and in society. When a man steps into the spotlight and takes on tasks traditionally considered “women’s work” – organizing events, running the house, providing emotional support – it has a far-reaching impact. Unfortunately, this may be exactly what is needed to help people finally recognize these tasks as real work that deserves recognition and compensation.

Even if a First Gentleman does not take on the traditional duties himself and instead chooses to delegate these roles or even advocate for them to become paid professional positions, it is still effective. Both scenarios would require a broader examination of the way we undervalue work that is important but unpaid.

Look around and you’ll find that most women in America still do the lion’s share of unpaid work, be it caring for children, running the house or the emotional labor that keeps relationships – both political and personal – alive . Even when women work full-time at their paid job, they are expected to juggle these responsibilities. It’s 2024 and somehow we’re still here.

A First Gentleman could highlight these differences in a very public way. He could be just the high-profile example we need to finally begin honoring the contributions of women, not just in the workplace but in all areas of American life.

Emotional labor: still a woman’s job?

We also need to talk about emotional labor: the invisible work of dealing with not just your own feelings, but those of everyone else. Women have always done this – be it in their families, at work or in social situations. They were expected to be the peacemakers, the supporters, and the ones to smooth out the rough edges for everyone else.

Now imagine that a man in the White House was expected to do something like that. Would a First Gentleman deal with the emotional dynamics of the presidential staff or would he support the president’s public image by attending to the softer, human side of things? If he did, it could set a new precedent: Emotional labor isn’t just for women.

If men were more widely expected to engage in this kind of work—whether in their relationships or in the workplace—it could help ease the burden that women have carried for so long. Emotional labor needs to be viewed as a shared responsibility and not something that is automatically placed on women due to societal expectations.

It could set a new precedent: Emotional labor isn’t just for women.

A new era for gender roles

For decades, women have been told that they can do anything, including rising to the highest political offices. And we see that happening. But we haven’t had the same conversation about men taking on traditionally “feminine” roles. As women overcome barriers in the workplace, men must begin to take on their share of household and emotional labor. Gender equality works both ways.

A First Gentleman could finally move this conversation forward. As women continue to step into roles that have traditionally been dominated by men, it is time for men to step into roles that have traditionally been performed by women – whether at home or in public.

We also need to rethink expectations specifically for the first spouse. Many of the tasks assigned to first ladies—event management, supervising staff, taking on public functions—are comparable to high-level positions in the private sector. Why do we still consider these roles volunteer work when they take place in the White House?

A first gentleman could be the trigger for these discussions. By taking on that role — or challenging it — he could help reshape how we view paid and unpaid work in American society.

Conclusion: A step towards true equality

The prospect of a First Gentleman isn’t just a novelty – it’s an opportunity for a wider conversation about gender roles, unpaid work and emotional labour. As we imagine what it would mean for a man to step into this traditionally feminine role, we also have the chance to question our deeply held assumptions about “women’s work” in public and private life.

At the same time, the inclusion of a First Gentleman in structures such as the Global First Ladies Alliance could further stimulate a global rethink about the value of the work done by spouses of world leaders.

By redefining the role of the first spouse—whether by advocating for professionalization or simply by getting the job done—a first gentleman could help accelerate a cultural shift toward greater gender equality. After all, true equality isn’t just about breaking barriers in the Oval Office; It’s also about sharing the work that happens behind the scenes.

It’s time to redefine what it means to do “women’s work” – because, as a first gentleman showed us, it is work for everyone.

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