Troy Aikman said he decided not to date men and not to be gay

Is Troy Aikman gay?

This has been the most frequently asked question we hear at Outsports for years. The question about the former Dallas Cowboys quarterback and current NFL commentator for ESPN comes from a book by Skip Bayless in which he suggests that Aikman might be gay.

In 2015 Sports illustratedRichard Deitsch asked Aikman about the story that has haunted him for over 25 years.

Aikman went on the offensive:

“I’m upset about it because it was made up and nothing that was implied was true. And he did it like he does everything just to get attention,” Aikman said of his arch-enemy Bayless and the questions.

“I’m probably more upset because I probably should have responded to it at the time. The advice to me was, ‘Hey, just don’t bring it up. It’s not worth it. It doesn’t make sense. It’s ridiculous. The only thing it does is make people keep talking about his book.’ So I didn’t.

“But I probably could have reacted differently, and maybe that would have changed things. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened. But it’s ridiculous, and yes, it bothers me. If people choose that lifestyle, then that’s how it is. It doesn’t affect me in any way. But it’s not my lifestyle.”

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“A lifestyle that people choose.”

This is the mantra that so many anti-gay activists have used for generations: that we are all the same and that some people simply choose to have a homosexual relationship.

But they do not consider the other side of the coin: other people – including homosexuals – simply decide against a same-sex relationship.

Other people “choose” this lifestyle, Aikman said, but it is not the “lifestyle” he chose for himself.

We saw this “choice” in early 2015 on TLC’s “My Husband’s Not Gay.” The show featured four men who are attracted to men – one of whom said he is more attracted to men than women nine times out of ten. Yet these four men are all dating women – and three of them are married! Whether you call it “homosexual” or “same-sex attraction” or whatever, these guys are gay and in heterosexual relationships.

According to Aikman, this is simply a question of lifestyle, similar to the area where one lives, the type of car one drives or the vacation destination.

However, Aikman said he would love to have Taylor Swift on Monday Night Football, so he’s obviously a Swiftie.

I don’t know who or what Aikman is attracted to, but since he told us that the gender of the people you date is simply a choice, we have to take his word for it: He has made a conscious decision not to date men. He might have been inclined to do so, but instead he has chosen to date women.

If gay men simply make the “choice” to date men, then gay men – like the stars of TLC, perhaps like Aikman – also simply make the “choice” to date women.

Either way, I feel bad for the guy. Either he had to live with people assuming he was something he wasn’t, or he felt he had to hide his true self in order to become a big TV star.

By the way, anyone who feels sorry for Aikman should know that he also sparked speculation about Bayless’s orientation. They should remember that what goes in one direction goes in the other.

Is Troy Aikman gay? I don’t know. Nobody knows except Aikman himself. According to his own words, he might be. The fact that he has chosen to date and marry women means that it is simply his choice – we still have no idea what his true orientation is.

Be that as it may, he will again be commentating Monday Night Football games for ESPN this season alongside Joe Buck.

An earlier version of this article originally appeared on Outsports in January 2015. It has since been updated.