When Bagel met Boureka: A story of love and food

Once upon a time, an Ashkenazi woman from New York met and fell in love with a Sephardic man from Morocco. Her life was never the same after that. That’s the story Barbara Bensoussan tells readers in her new book, A Well-Spiced Life: An Exuberant Discovery of Sephardic Food, Family, and Faith. I was able to speak with Bensoussan to delve deeper into her story and the culinary journey she’s been on throughout her life.

For Bensoussan, who grew up in a fairly secular Jewish family before becoming more religious as a young woman, meeting her Moroccan husband meant that she would soon begin a whole new life with her family, home and culture. Her journey and life with her husband involved adapting to many new cultural traditions that Ashkenazim were completely unfamiliar with, including a whole new world of food. Suddenly thrust into the world of Moroccan Jewish cooking, she had to learn to prepare a whole new cuisine, and over the years she adapted her cooking skills to those of her Sephardic family, ensuring that her husband, children, grandchildren and numerous guests were happy and well-fed. And it is this story of food, love and Judaism that Bensoussan weaves together so eloquently in her book.

When asked how she felt when she first encountered Moroccan cuisine, she said, “It was love at first bite.” And she was happy to bring that food into her own home because it was food she enjoyed, too. She was captivated by the flavors, bright colors and care that radiated from the Moroccan Jewish recipes she got from her in-laws and friends. It was partly because of her love for her husband and a desire to give him a piece of his old home while they set up their new one in New York. “The least I could do was make him the food he likes.”

Sourcing the necessary ingredients at their kosher markets wasn’t always easy, as they had to find the right spices and vegetables at their local markets. Sometimes Bensoussan got creative and repurposed things she knew, like gefilte fish, into a delicious recipe for Moroccan fish balls that her family loves. You can make this “Moroccanized” gefilte yourself here.

A creative way to make gefilte fish “Moroccan”.

Over the years, Bensoussan has collected and perfected many recipes and dishes, adapting them when necessary. While her husband may never truly understand chicken soup or baked chicken, she has learned to make hearty Moroccan-style soups and chicken dishes that are full of flavor. Not to mention breads and pastries. A big favorite among her recipes is a dessert her mother-in-law brought her, called Petits Pains au Chocolat. It’s a delicious chocolate roll and a guaranteed crowd pleaser. “The kids are always fighting over it and who gets more,” she said. Try the recipe for your own family here.

Delicious chocolate rolls that are worth fighting for.

What became clear to me in my conversation with Bensoussan, and also in her book, is that at its core it is about love. Love for her husband, her family and her Judaism. She said, “I think food is my love language,” and, “I think in every Jewish family, food is love.” It flows into family traditions, whether it’s making sfenj, Moroccan doughnuts, for Hanukkah every year or the children’s eager anticipation of what will be served each week at Shabbat dinner.

Bensoussan’s grandson eats Sfenj at Hanukkah

This feeling applies to many of us. We all have an inner desire to see our loved ones happy and well-fed and to give meaning to our shared holiday or Shabbat meals.

As someone who married into a different Jewish culture than the one I grew up in (I’m Ashkenazi and my husband is Iraqi), I could relate to Bensoussan and understand what it means to learn new cultural traditions with a new family. Instead of brisket, the holidays were about lamb, and instead of simple seasoning with salt and pepper, it was all about spices. For Bensoussan, learning and blending traditions and expanding her own cooking skills was a blessing, and her family benefited even more for it. Ultimately, we recognize that despite differences in cooking and celebration practices, Jews around the world still celebrate the same holidays together.